Why You Fail When You Make New Year's Resolutions

Have you ever made New Year's Resolutions and failed to meet them? It seems like by the middle of February, you are no longer doing what you set out to do on January 1. Why do you think that is? Here are my ideas on why we are often unsuccessful when it comes to resolutions.

You Set Unclear Goals

A lot of times, we will make unclear goals. For example, a lot of people say they want to lose weight. That sounds like a great goal, but it isn't a defined goal. How much weight do you want to lose? What time frame would you like to lose it in? What will you do to lose the weight? 

Without clear expectations, you will burn out fast. You need clear goals that are broken down. 

You Make Resolutions For the Wrong Reason

We make resolutions because we believe we have to. That is the wrong reason to decide to do something. If you are doing it just because you think you have to, you probably won't be successful. When you have the right motivation, you will meet your goals. 

You feel the pressure to make goals because the rest of the world is. It is better to make a resolution to do something when you feel passionate about it. Don't wait until the New Year, get started now. 

You Try To Improve Too Many Things at Once

It seems logical to tackle every area of your life that needs improving while you have some motivation, right? Really, you are just setting yourself up for failure. When you make too many resolutions, you will burn out quickly. 

If you want to make more than one resolution, start with one thing on the list. Master that first, then move to the next thing. 

You Want an Immediate Payoff

We are conditioned to want results immediately. That is what marketing tells us. Get results fast. To have long term results, you must be committed to working hard for a long time. We have high expectations that with a small amount of work, we should see amazing results. 

Ok, so you ate health for two days, and it was hard. Should you see the scales go down one pound? No. You won't see any results from a weight loss program for a few weeks. It will happen so gradually, that you might not notice it without someone point it out. 

The best way to be successful with your goals is to set reasonable goals that you can keep. Be sure you make them with the right motivation. Then be patient as you work toward your goals. 

You can read my other article about Top New Year's Resolutions 2015 and how you can actually keep them. 

Christmas Quotes and Well Wishes

Since Christmas is only a few days away, I wanted to leave you with a few quotes that will warm your heart. This is the time of year that we can show love to one another with passion and grace.

Experience Love This Christmas

I hope you receive enough love to be full all the year through.

Christmas is Love in Action

God sent His Son, Jesus, to the world. That was an expression of love. 

Maybe Christmas Doesn't Come in a Store

Even the Grinch understood that there was more to Christmas than presents. What a valuable lesson we should all learn. 

It is More Blessed to Give Than to Receive

It is so true, it is a greater blessing to give than to receive. When you only think about what you will get for Christmas, you are usually disappointed. I hope you find the real joy of giving this year. 

Merry Christmas From Me to You

I hope you have an amazing Christmas with your friends and family. Enjoy your holiday and spread the cheer!

Video tutorial: how to foil highlight your hair

Do you like the look of highlights, but it cost too much money to go to a salon? If so, watch my video tutorial where I teach you how to do your own highlights using foil. Foiling your hair takes practice, but it is something you can do for yourself.



This will save you a lot of money to highlight your hair at home.









You can visit me at my other website Love Hope Adventure for more DIY projects and methods.

What I Tell My Children About Santa

There are plenty of Christmas wars going on about whether or not to promote Santa and Elf on the Shelf or not. Some people say that it is wrong to tell your kids that there is a man in a big red suit that brings them gifts. That this is really a form of lying that will scar their children.

Others say that it is part of Christmas to put an Elf on the Shelf out every day or promote Santa. If you don't, then you are doing a disservice to your children.

The Reason Santa Doesn't Stop Here

I have a pretty anti-climactic reason as to why I do not teach my children there is a Santa Clause. You can read the full post HERE. Instead of using my creativity to come up with fun ideas for Elf on the Shelf or fantastic Santa stories, I focus my attention on making homemade gifts. 

What I Tell My Children About Santa

Earlier today, I was asked what I tell my children about Santa, especially since a lot of their friends believe in him. This was a bigger issue when my kids were younger, and didn't quite understand why everyone kept asking them what Santa was going to bring them. 

I told my kids that some parents tell their children that Clause is real, as a way to play a game with them. I would explain that he was a fun character that we could think about and watch on television. I also shared that St. Nick was a real man that actually went around and put a gift in children's shoes. 

He is a fun and benevolent character. He isn't banned in our house. We just don't put on a big charade to make our kids thing he brings them presents. We take the credit for the few toys they get each year. 

What I Tell Parents When They Get Mad That My Children Don't Believe in Santa

I wish I could tell you how many times I have had adults look at my kids with a scowl when they say they don't believe in santa. Immediately, adults would instruct my children not to tell the other kids around them or it would spoil Christmas for their friends. 

Of course, the adults would continue on and tell me I needed to make sure that my kids weren't going around telling all of their friends that old St. Nick wasn't real. How dare I not play along with the unwritten rule of not spilling the beans about St. Nick. 

My response to that was: if my children can cause doubt in their child by just saying that santa wasn't real, then they weren't doing a good enough job convincing them he was. 

Really, I can't keep my children from telling others what they believe in. I'm not going to stop my kids from speaking their minds. 

I'm not against Santa or Elf on the Shelf. If you'll read the blog post I linked to, then you'll see that my reason for not bothering with it has nothing to do with a religious or moral position. I love Christmas and seeing other celebrate in the ways that make them feel excited. 

Breasts and the Bible

Did you know that the Bible talks about a woman's breasts? It might surprise you to know that God is the author of sex. He is the one that gave this unique gift to us. 

A Woman's Breasts Are Satisfying to Her Husband

It should be no wonder to us then, that God encourages men to feel satisfied by their wife's breasts. Check out the scripture verse below:

Let me tell you what this verse is not saying. It is not saying that men should have their way with their wives anytime they want. It is not saying that a woman is a sex slave to her husband. 

What Does it Mean

If you look at the entire chapter of Proverbs 5, it is telling men to be faithful. In fact, the verse right before Prov. 5:19 says that a man should take pleasure in the woman he married when he was young. 

That says to me, that when we as women become older, men are instructed by God, to continually satisfy themselves with us. 

Misconceptions About Sex and The Bible

I don't know what your views are about the Bible and sex. I think some people have a misconception that this is a dirty topic in the church or among Christians.

I'm not going to make a stereotype here and say that intercourse isn't an uncomfortable topic for Christians and non-Christians. If you are a parent of a pre-teen, you know exactly what I'm talking about. I don't care what your religious belief system is. Sex is not easy to talk about.

What God Really Thinks About Intercourse

However, the Bible addresses intimacy and intercourse a lot. It talks about the marriage bed and keeping it just between the man and woman. God doesn't want your husband to cheat or a wife to seduce another man.

Now don't misunderstand me. Versus in the scripture do not just give you a list of don't's when it comes to sexual relations. It encourages a man and woman to drink each other up. Fully engage with one another in pleasurable intercourse.

If you are in a sexless marriage or lacking in intimacy, you can go here and read a post I wrote. I talk about re-evaluating your relationship. Won't you join me on this search for closeness in your romantic relationship?

3 Tips for Public Speaking

Each week, I'm given an opportunity to teach a class of some form, whether it is Bible study, preschool classes, or after school care programs. Public speaking is something I have had to do quite a lot of. Over the years, I believe I have gotten better at my delivery. If you are in a place where you are being asked to lead a Bible study or teach a class, here are few things you can do to help out with your public speaking. 

1. Make Notes

I still make notes that are easy to read when I am leading a Bible study or teaching a class. Instead of writing every word of the speech I need to give, I just create a simple outline of things I know I want to talk about. As you speak more often, the notes may become shorter. It is still very important to create a guideline, or you will kick yourself later on for not touching on things that you wanted to talk about. When you write your notes, try to use different colored pens or highlighters to make certain points stand out. The goal is to have notes you can quickly glance down at. 

2. Record Yourself

For a more formal speech or speaking engagement, it might be a good idea to record yourself giving the speech. If you are asked to give your testimony or lead a large group of women, this may be the perfect way to make sure you don't become nervous. When you record yourself, you will be more likely to ignore mistakes and keep going with your speech. Also, when you are done, you have the ability to review what you said. It is important to listen to yourself. 

3. Look Above Their Heads

Public speaking can make many people feel nervous. The best thing to do to keep from being nervous while speaking is to pick a place on the wall, floor, or empty chair to look at. Try not to make eye contact if you are speaking to a large group. In a smaller group, eye contact usually won't make you feel as nervous. You certainly want to make sure that you look engaged with the audience, so picking a place that you can stare that is in the line of site as your crowd will go a long ways in boosting crowd participation. It is best that you avoid staring down at your notes the entire time you are speaking. That is a sure fire way to loose everyone's attention. 

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These are just a few things you can do to prepare for a public speaking occasion whether it is a large venue or a small Bible study. 

Feel free to visit me at Love Hope Adventure, where I talk about the marriage relationship and other relationships in the home. 

I created these pictures at LifeTricks. 

What is Intimacy in Marriage

Probably one of the first things you think about when you hear of intimacy in marriage is sex. Really, intimacy is so much more than just physical acts. It encompasses your mind, body and spirit. Intimacy reaches into the depths of who you are and connects you deeply with someone else.

Natural Intimacy 

When you are newly in love, all you want to do is spend time getting to know that person who holds your attention. Intimacy naturally happens in these romantic relationships. You find that you connect with that person on many levels. It really doesn't seem to matter what you are doing together, you relish the time and attention. After the newness wears off, whether it is after a few years in a dating relationship, or when the honeymoon period is over, deep connection becomes something you have to work toward. That is not to say that there won't be times during your relationship that you feel more connected than others. However, I'm talking about those times when you are going through a bit of a dry spell. How do you re-connect or stay connected when you drift a part? 

Building Deep Connections in Marriage

For the health of long term relationships, deep connections must be made. This goes for your relationships with family, friends, but in particular, your significant other. True intimacy looks different in all of these relationships. In your marriage or romantic relationship, building deep connections takes planning and intention. Here are a few things you can do to feel more connected with the one you love. 

1. Listen- this seems so basic, however, it is a skill many of us lack. How many times are you in a conversation with your loved one and your mind begins to wander. It might not be an intentional thing, you just realize you didn't hear a thing your spouse was saying. When you find yourself in that place, it is important to stop and say to your loved one that they need to repeat themselves. That may be a bit of a frustration for them, but it is very important that hear them. 

2. Serve- when you do something for others around you, you instantly feel connected to them. I think it is because for a moment, you have to put yourself in their place and think about how they will receive your service. Serving doesn't have to be anything big; on the contrary, it is the little things that add up. Take your loved one a drink while they are working out in the yard or fix their favorite meal for dinner. Any small thing will help you to feel connected to them. 

3. Show Affection- being affectionate with your loved one is very important. This can range from kisses on the cheek, to giving a small gift, to full on physical engagement. Showing your partner how much you love them off and on during the day or when you are together, brings you closer together. 

These are just a few of the things you can do to build true intimacy in your relationship with your significant other. 

Visit me at Love Hope Adventure where I talk more about the marriage relationships, along with other relationships in your life.