What is Intimacy in Marriage

Probably one of the first things you think about when you hear of intimacy in marriage is sex. Really, intimacy is so much more than just physical acts. It encompasses your mind, body and spirit. Intimacy reaches into the depths of who you are and connects you deeply with someone else.

Natural Intimacy 

When you are newly in love, all you want to do is spend time getting to know that person who holds your attention. Intimacy naturally happens in these romantic relationships. You find that you connect with that person on many levels. It really doesn't seem to matter what you are doing together, you relish the time and attention. After the newness wears off, whether it is after a few years in a dating relationship, or when the honeymoon period is over, deep connection becomes something you have to work toward. That is not to say that there won't be times during your relationship that you feel more connected than others. However, I'm talking about those times when you are going through a bit of a dry spell. How do you re-connect or stay connected when you drift a part? 

Building Deep Connections in Marriage

For the health of long term relationships, deep connections must be made. This goes for your relationships with family, friends, but in particular, your significant other. True intimacy looks different in all of these relationships. In your marriage or romantic relationship, building deep connections takes planning and intention. Here are a few things you can do to feel more connected with the one you love. 

1. Listen- this seems so basic, however, it is a skill many of us lack. How many times are you in a conversation with your loved one and your mind begins to wander. It might not be an intentional thing, you just realize you didn't hear a thing your spouse was saying. When you find yourself in that place, it is important to stop and say to your loved one that they need to repeat themselves. That may be a bit of a frustration for them, but it is very important that hear them. 

2. Serve- when you do something for others around you, you instantly feel connected to them. I think it is because for a moment, you have to put yourself in their place and think about how they will receive your service. Serving doesn't have to be anything big; on the contrary, it is the little things that add up. Take your loved one a drink while they are working out in the yard or fix their favorite meal for dinner. Any small thing will help you to feel connected to them. 

3. Show Affection- being affectionate with your loved one is very important. This can range from kisses on the cheek, to giving a small gift, to full on physical engagement. Showing your partner how much you love them off and on during the day or when you are together, brings you closer together. 

These are just a few of the things you can do to build true intimacy in your relationship with your significant other. 

Visit me at Love Hope Adventure where I talk more about the marriage relationships, along with other relationships in your life.